i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
third nipple confirmed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
