You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
