why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
