So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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