D3 body, D1 cock
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
