so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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