my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
