Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
