sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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