You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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