Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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