Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Did I show you my penis last night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
