I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
