I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
