Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What a dumb baby whore.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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