Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
