the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
