Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
