i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
