Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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