in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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