I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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