So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
barbara walters just said penis...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
