never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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