Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
