We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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