apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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