if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
