i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
