Grow some girl-balls and come out already
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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