It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
