her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
