I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
