I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
