You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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