I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Boobs speak an international language.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
