curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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