if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
