If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
