the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So squirting runs in the family.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
