You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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