I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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