i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
