Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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