Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
pray to the hookup gods
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
