No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
