a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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