you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
