On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
