Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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