..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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